From my vantage point, here is a list of top 10 managerial thinking errors that contribute to struggle and failure:

1. "The problem will just eventually go away." They're not fully aware of what's lurking even though symptoms clearly exist.
2. "I don't want to be disliked – I don't want to hurt feelings." It's excruciatingly uncomfortable for them.
3. "I can't do anything about it." They're a bit delusional here.   
4. "I don't really see it as a priority." They're simply not moved toward action.  
5. "I don't know how to handle it." They're lacking in skill, knowledge or ability.
6. "I'm afraid it won't turn out well – it's already explosive."They've let it go too far for too long – intervention is probably needed.
7. "I worry about a personal attack or retaliation." Yep, that may happen – but they need to understand that it goes with the job.  
8. "I'm afraid to ask for support on how to handle it – I can't let people know how bad it is." People already know how bad it is and are wondering why they're not doing something.
9. "They're not receptive to any feedback or correction from me. The 'I dare you' looks are quite intimidating." And the employee is still working for them?
10. "I'm new to management and I don't want them to think I'm above them." They don't really want to be the leader – they just want to be one of the team.

So where does change start? It starts in the thinking, followed by the handling of the emotional aspects of hard situations and lastly with actually taking action. At ground level, the initial thinking must be around the issue of purpose.

What is the purpose of learning to properly and expertly handle tough situations? Is the purpose about you, about your team, about the organization or about the respective employee?

The answer is: All of the above. 

Now here are three reflective questions for handling tough situations:

1. Do you really care about the employee's highest good? Then don't ignore what will make them better – even if it's for another employer.
2. Do you really believe the employees have value as human beings? Then lean into that first and foremost, and affirm their intrinsic value in your mind and in your words. This frees you to have the direct and difficult dialogue, apart from attacking their personhood.
3. Do you really understand your fiduciary role? It's not about you and about how you may feel. It's about the role and responsibilities you've been entrusted with and acting in a manner that is expected for the good of your team – each customer, individually and collectively – which ultimately serves the good of the organization.

Finally, learning to handle the toughest of situations will serve you well, personally. You're developing new managerial skills and contributing in recognizable ways to the well-being of your team, your team members and your organization. With that, you're able to sleep at night. No matter how difficult the situation is, you did not shrink back.

Remember this: Your potential is vast and you are capable of far more than you imagine.

Rhonda S. Sheets is president/CEO for Support EXP. She can be reached at 937-535-1384 or [email protected].