North Carolina State Employees Credit Union announces the opening of his 100,000th branch office. *

Number of small credit unions, those with less than $100 million in assets, falls to less than 200; Deborah Matz expresses concern. *

President George Z. Bush appoints Ed Callahan III, a third generation CEO of $92 billion Worldwide Credit Union (formerly Patelco CU), Chairman of NCUA to take effect after his retirement. *

Salaries of federal banking regulators expected to reach level of NCUA maintenance staff soon. *

Norm D'Amours joins the ranks of the underserved. *

Sole CU holdout decides to leave NCUSIF for private insurance; turns lights out at NCUSIF headquarters as leaving. *

List of upcoming credit union meetings and conferences takes up entire special 100 page issue of Credit Union Times. *

Credit unions introduce marketing plan that requires miniature cell phones to be implanted in members' ears and transaction chips in their index fingers. *

Annual National Credit Union Awards banquet to honor 2020 credit union leaders expected to last 40 days and 40 nights; shortage of plaques cited. *

CO-OP ATM Network confirms installation of non-surcharging ATMs on every street corner; declares billion dollar patronage dividend. *

New 30 person NCUA Board meets for the first time; no one recognizes any of them. *

Long-time Mississippi Senator Dennis Dollar is keynote speaker at Access Across the Galaxy Credit Union's annual membership meeting held on Mars; door prizes include tickets to see Chicago Cubs in World Series in Cuba. *

CUNA confirms that its Renaissance Program is starting to catch on. *

The number of banks converting to state credit union charters reaches 4,375; decide tax-exemption not such a bad thing after all. *

Outcry from CU members that they can't locate their credit union because of stringent privacy regulations. *

Number of credit unions serving the overserved drops again amid predictions that they will soon vanish completely. *

Number of female CEOs of top 100 credit unions reaches 80%; males hold protest rally. *

Record numbers of thrifts convert to credit union charters in effort to gain bigger share of mortgage market. *

NAFCU holds annual meeting in Wyoming coffee shop to hear NASCU representative speak on "Where have all the FCUs gone?" *

Florida credit union unionized staff threatens strike when management refuses to allow thong bikinis on casual day. *

Volunteers attempt to form national association in effort to get more volunteers on national credit union organizations' boards of directors. *

CUES sets new institute schedule; will hold one a week in 2020. *

Iraq's first Catholic president announces opening of credit union to serve UN inspectors, but they can't find it. *

Credit union political action funds reach $500 million for first time enabling credit union industry to buy record numbers of Congressmen. *

Number of NCUA employees and number of credit unions now equal; NCUA promises to study OTR rate ASAP. *

Study shows median age of credit union board members reaches 100 for first time. *

New compensation survey shows average credit union CEO pay gaining on average CU trade group staff salaries. *

Only remaining single sponsor credit union, American Airlines FCU, which serves only remaining U.S. airline, announces plan to serve anyone who flies, has flown, would someday like to fly, or has ever seen an airplane. *

Credit Union House adds six stories to expand as a CU bed and breakfast to accommodate league contingents too exhausted from hiking the hill to return home. *

Credit unions begin buying credit card portfolios from banks. *

Aggregation expected to catch on shortly. *

Call centers solve staffing shortage by cloning top performers. *

NCUA announces that with the 45 million underserved potential members added last year, credit unions can now serve all Americans except the staff of the American Bankers Association. *

Three remaining leagues, California, Texas, and New England decide to merge. *

Mike Welch III, the third generation publisher of Credit Union Times, announces in Publisher's Notebook, that the 2020 GAC issue set a new record for a single weekly issue at 420 pages. Finally, I warned you that this just a fun column. I hope no one took any of these possible 2020 headlines too seriously. Or do I? Comments? Call 1-800-345-9936, Ext. 15, or Fax 561-683-8514, or E-mail [email protected].