As the TV insurance salesman, the financial advisor and thefinancial product promoters all say, you don't want to outlive yourmoney.

Well, maybe we do.

I sat in the “nice” nursing home watching the 96 year old, 85lb. shadow of my mother nod off during our conversation. I knew thenursing home was taking the money she had earned as a first gradeteacher and my deceased father had earned as a small town,municipal worker. It represented their combined 90 years of workingand saving, and it was all gone after just 18 months in the nursinghome.

And it was my own fault.

I advised my mother and father how to save, when I should haveadvised them how to spend earlier in their retirement. I suggestedresponsible investment tools, when I should have suggestedresponsible, enjoyable experiences earlier in their lives. Iencouraged financial safety, when I should have encouragedenjoyable living while they still had each other. I advised themhow to responsibly save for their retirement but I failed to advisethem how to responsibly spend during their retirement, while theystill had each other to share the enjoyment and before they died orended up in the nursing home.

Despite having achieved my own financial success, I failed toproperly advise my own mom and dad.

Saving for a comfortable retirement is a worthwhile, if notnecessary, endeavor. But saving money for very late in life doesnot pass the basic cost vs. benefit analysis. As a teenager Isometimes saw my frugal parents forego a Saturday night movie tosave perhaps $5, a Sunday dinner at a nice restaurant to save $15and a Sunday afternoon drive in the country to save $5 in gas.

That's $25, and it didn't even last through my mother's firstbreakfast on her first day in the nursing home. It simply failedthe basic cost vs. benefit analysis. If given the choice, I'm suremy mother would have chosen to enjoy those weekend activities andskip that first breakfast in the nursing home.

We baby boomers should let go of the concept of financialplanning that guarantees we will outlive our hard earned money. Weneed to plan to enjoy gifting to deserving individuals at criticaltimes in their lives when the gift is most needed and will have thegreatest impact, such as financing an education and skills trainingor helping to buy a first home. Dying at age 88 and leaving ourmoney to adult offspring, who might already be retired, is just apoor allocation of financial resources.

That money in our bank or brokerage account is just a series of1s and 0s stored on a computer hard drive. It is an accumulation ofIOU's that have been given to us in return for our past work, timeand effort. We don't actually get paid for our prior work, time andeffort until we redeem those IOU's for living expenses, “fun stuff”or generous gifting.

We need to embrace the concept that we really do deserve tospend everything we have earned and saved in life, while we canstill enjoy it with our loved ones, before we findourselves in the nursing home and before we die. If, asthey say, the ultimate revenge in old age is having a life welllived, then ending up as a ward of the state for the last year orso very late in life might just be a price worth paying. After 45plus years of working and paying taxes, there should be no shame inthat.

We each need to ask ourselves: Do I want to be the resident inthe nursing home with the most money or the one with the greatestmemories? Would I rather be rich and have broken dreams or be brokebut have rich memories?

When my last will and testament is read, it will begin with mystatement: Being of sound body and mind … I spent it all.

Dr. Stanley Riggs is an independent wealth manager and aretired orthopedic surgeon. He can be reached at [email protected] or941-955-6163